How do we prevent future instances of hijackers taking over a plane and directing it to crash on some target?
By Hoyt Nelson, 09/14/2001
What if every passenger had an official airline knife available? The two or
three terrorists pop up with their weapons, and the other 56 passengers
attack them.
Or equip every seat with guns that shoot rubber bullets, so they cannot blow
out windows? Or everyone has one of those zapper devices that electrocutes
their target. (Air rage would be a more serious problem.)
How about cannisters of sleepy-gas under control of the pilots? Or the FAA?
Flood the passenger compartment, and sort out the bad guys later. (Then we
need to watch for gas masks when x-raying carry-ons.)
How about an override that allows the FAA to wrest control of the plane from
the pilots, when it deviates from its flight path? We can have squads of
14-year-old boys practicing on flight simulators for each model of Boeing,
Douglas and AirBus craft, so they can steer the plane if the auto-pilot
doesn't suffice. Or, use real pilots (not as much fun).
To detect hijackings: Television cameras showing the main cabin and the
pilot cabin, with continuous feed to FAA via satellite, so the FAA can
easily observe any crisis. Subcontract the monitor-watching to senior
citizens, with a few dozen watching any given flight so it's OK if a few nod
off. Make the elders feel useful! Call on the Greatest Generation one more
time!!
TV cameras in the bathrooms: The airlines could probably tap into the porn
market and make money, getting paid to allow perverts to monitor these.
Don't tell the passengers; it would make some uncomfortable, possibly.
Have a positive-pressure button (that you have to hold down) in each
passenger's armrest that operates like the rope on a bus or train: if enough
people push the button simultaneously, then a "We're being hijacked" message
is delivered to the FAA, causing the FAA to take over control of the plane.
Or the plane can go into auto-pilot, with no override possible, landing
no-hands at its original destination.
How about a remote-controlled bomb that the FAA can set off the next time a
plane appears to be doing a WTC-style attack?
Proximity bomb on the plane: Radar tells the computer that a building is
about to be impacted, setting off a series of distributed bombs that render
the plane into hand-sized confetti.
Helium-filled dirigibles above each metropolitan area, serving as a platform
for stinger missle defense of the city. This handles the low-tech planes
like your average Cessna, which isn't going to have sleepy-gas and TV
monitors.
Phonebooth-like interrogator machines that do the pre-boarding passenger
interview. Laser-based lie detectors measure the change in iris width when
the machine asks the boarding passenger "Do you have any weapons?" If the
iris expands when the machine flashs Bin Ladins face, we GOT 'em! A voice
analyzer lie-detector asks: "What is the purpose of your flight?" What the
heck: Have the passenger grab a handle and use galvonic skin response too.
Don't unlock the door of the booth if the passenger appears to be lying.
Seatbelts that lock under electronic control, like they do on an amusement
park ride, with the belt unlocked at the flight attendants' initiative when
the passenger asks to be allowed to use the bathroom. The flight attendants
would have to watch out for all four terrorists coordinating their bathroom
break: "You'll have to wait until those other two gentleman are done, sir."
The belts would have to be very tough, esp. knife-proof.
With the locking seatbelts, it will be the case that 99% of passengers are
safely locked down. If the three allowed out of their seats attempt a
hijack, then the pilots go into a "dolphin" maneuver, sharply going up then
down then up then down, seriously injuring the hijackers (and the flight
attendants, unfortunately).
As soon as the pilots are alerted that there is a hijaak underway, they
actuate a control that turns all of the pilots' windows opaque, then they
turn on the auto-pilot in a way that cannot be overridden except by the FAA.
The hijackers cannot see to fly the plane into the Capitol building, if they
somehow manage to restore manual control. The windows would have to be very
tough, esp. bulletproof.
Holographic projector that makes Mohammed appear in the front of the plane,
speaking Arabic to the effect that "Oops, I goofed: it turns out martyrs go
straight to HELLL!" There would be variations with Billy Graham for
Christian hijackers, etc. A flight attendent hits the appropriate button to
start the projection.
For Moslem hijackers, the movie screen drops and starts displaying a video
describing the 70 virgins that Islamic martyrs receive in heaven. They are
the scaggiest, most repellent women imaginable: ancient, scabrous, leprous,
filthy, mutants... all learing with scary sexual desire. Next, an ayatollah
comes on to say that THIS is where you go after a life as a peace-maker ---
and then the screen shows an episode of BayWatch.
And finally:
A remote-controlled 747 circles Mecca 100% of the time, under U.S. AWAC
control and fighter protection, refueled in the air as needed, with a
promise that the most holy temple will be dive-bombed WTC-style the next
time a NATO-alliance country experiences a WTC-type event, if any
Arab/Islamic connection can be established. Or just put a remote-controlled
tactical nuke in the temple's basement.
And seriously:
How about a GIS-based navigation system that absolutely prevents the plane
from being steered into reserved airspace? The computer takes the current
direction, height and speed, and compares that to the database of restricted
areas. If the plane is heading into a no-go zone, then the computer takes
over navigation, invoking the auto-pilot and avoiding the verbotten
territory. This is a minor variation on cruise missile navigation
technology, simple to develop in less than a year, I bet, with an easy
retrofit because it plugs into the auto-pilot. It would have to be installed
somewhere inaccessible from inside the plane, obviously.
- Hoyt
_________________________________________________________________
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Monday, October 01, 2001
My own inventions for WTC/Pentagon terms
I'm annoyed by the media's failure to create efficient short-hands for "the terrorists who perpetrated the events of Sept. 11" and related entities. We need briefer terms, the equivalent of "WaterGate" or "Rozwell."
So here are some nominations:
1) Hamaslems (pronounced Ha-Maz'-lems)
Hamas + Moslems: The fanatical subset if Islamists willing to die as martyrs and get those 70 virgins in heaven.
2) Kamelkazes: Those Hamaslems who actually kill themselves, martyrs to Allah
3) Talibombs
Planes piloted by Kamelkazes, used as human-guided missles as with the WTC/Pentagon. Can also refer to the perpetrators as Talibombers.
4) Towersgon
The WTC twin "towers" plus the pentaGON -- a term for the three structures. Also suggests "gone". This isn't in any way funny, but "Towersgon" would save a lot of verbiage on the telly.
I'm annoyed by the media's failure to create efficient short-hands for "the terrorists who perpetrated the events of Sept. 11" and related entities. We need briefer terms, the equivalent of "WaterGate" or "Rozwell."
So here are some nominations:
1) Hamaslems (pronounced Ha-Maz'-lems)
Hamas + Moslems: The fanatical subset if Islamists willing to die as martyrs and get those 70 virgins in heaven.
2) Kamelkazes: Those Hamaslems who actually kill themselves, martyrs to Allah
3) Talibombs
Planes piloted by Kamelkazes, used as human-guided missles as with the WTC/Pentagon. Can also refer to the perpetrators as Talibombers.
4) Towersgon
The WTC twin "towers" plus the pentaGON -- a term for the three structures. Also suggests "gone". This isn't in any way funny, but "Towersgon" would save a lot of verbiage on the telly.
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